Have you guys nominated your favorite health activists? The WEGO Health Activist Awards are coming up!! Get those nominations in before December 31st!
Nominate Here:
http://awards.wegohealth.com/
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Common Misconceptions About the Chronically Ill
Misconception #1: You look fine therefore you must feel fine
This is probably one of the biggest misconceptions about the chronically ill. People with a chronic illness may look fine on the outside but that doesn’t necessarily mean they feel fine on the inside. Not everyone who has a chronic condition is in a wheelchair or walks around with a limp. In fact, most chronic illnesses are invisible.
Misconception #2: It must be so great not to have to work
Sure, it sounds great to a lot of people not to have to work…if they had the choice. Most of the time, people with chronic illness are not working because they can’t. Most people with chronic illness would gladly trade their illness for the 40 hour work week again.
Misconception #3: Getting more rest will make you feel better
For a lot of people with chronic illness, rest is helpful. But it may not make them feel drastically better. It’s not going to make their symptoms go away and it may not mean that they are then going to feel well enough to go to an event or social engagement.
Misconception #4: Chronically ill people are just lazy
Chronically ill people are not lazy. Most wish they could engage in the mundane chores and tasks that most people complain about. They would gladly do the dishes, take out the trash, and pick up the dog poop if they could. They would be happy to work eight hours, take the kids to practice, clean the house, help the kids with their homework and cook dinner all in one day if it meant they didn’t have a chronic condition that was keeping them from doing these things.
Misconception #5: If someone with a chronic illness is out living their life they must not really feel that bad
Just because someone with a chronic illness isn’t at home in bed all of the time doesn’t mean they’re not really sick or that they don’t really feel that bad. There are still things that need to be done despite having a chronic illness, like getting a few groceries or walking the dog down the street. People who have chronic illnesses do these things despite feeling horrible some of the time. It is a part of life with a chronic illness.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Please Vote for Your Color Looks Good for Best Health Blog of 2014!
Hi Everyone! I don't usually make pleas...but here goes...I've been working hard to help others with chronic illnesses and chronic pain, both through the counseling I do and through my blog. Healthline.com is having a contest to name the best health blog of 2014 and I would really appreciate your vote! You can vote by copying and pasting this link into your browser: http://www.healthline.com/health/best-health-blogs-contest Then, either begin to enter www.yourcolorlooksgood.blogspot.com in the search box or scroll down the list of blogs. Right now I'm #6 but I'm hoping to get to #1! Thanks in advance for your support!
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Gratitude – It’s What the Doctor Ordered
Living with a chronic illness can force you to change your life in ways you didn’t intend or to give up some of your dreams and goals. But it can also make you more empathetic to others who have an illness. It can teach you to appreciate the small things on the days you do feel okay, like taking a shower on your own, walking your dog down the street, listening to good music, or eating a good meal. It can teach you to appreciate the good people you have in your life. It can help you focus on the things in life that really matter.
How else can being grateful improve your life? Over and over, studies have shown that people who practice being grateful are healthier both mentally and physically. In terms of chronic illness, studies have shown that grateful people may be more likely to:
• Take better care of themselves physically and mentally
• Get a better night’s sleep
• Engage in more protective health behaviors and maintenance
• Have better responses to various difficulties
• Get more regular exercise
• Eat a healthier diet
• Schedule and keep regular physical examinations with their doctor
• Cope better with stress and daily challenges
• Feel happier and more optimistic
• Have reduced physical symptoms
• Maintain a more optimistic view of the future
So, your challenge this week is to think about one thing each day that you are thankful for, even it’s as small as “I read a good book today”. Sometimes the small things can be huge.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
What Not to Say to a Caregiver
While I have not been in the caregiver role, I have compiled this list as a result of my conversations with caregivers about their experiences. For those of you who have been caregivers, what do you think about this list? What would you add?
I don’t know how you do it. You must be a saint. While a comment like this is meant to be a compliment and one that expresses admiration, caregivers often feel frustrated, anxious, depressed and uncertain at times. They may feel like there is something else they could or should be doing.
Have you asked the doctor about _____? or Have you tried _____? Caregivers often try everything and anything they can to help their loved ones. One of the last things they want is to be questioned or given suggestions by another person.
You look so tired. Caregivers generally have good reason for looking tired. They are busy taking care of and worrying about their loved one, often sacrificing their own care. They know they look tired. They don’t need it pointed out to them.
I know just how you feel. No one can understand what a caregiver is going through unless they themselves have been a caregiver. And even then, everyone processes emotions differently so one person’s experience may be completely different than another.
Don’t worry, it will be okay. Sure, it may be okay. But maybe it won’t. Telling someone that it will be okay without the absolute knowledge of that can make the caregiver feel like their feelings aren’t valid.
Make sure to take care of yourself. Caregivers often know they should take care of themselves too. Finding the time and energy to do so is another story. They are often too busy or exhausted to take care of themselves as well as they should.
You should _______ Once again, caregivers are doing the best they can. They don’t want to be told what they should or shouldn’t be doing because it may cause them to feel like they aren’t doing a good enough job.
I’m sure this is in God’s plan. Whether it is or isn’t in God’s plan still doesn’t make it okay that their loved one has to suffer.
I don’t know how you do it. You must be a saint. While a comment like this is meant to be a compliment and one that expresses admiration, caregivers often feel frustrated, anxious, depressed and uncertain at times. They may feel like there is something else they could or should be doing.
Have you asked the doctor about _____? or Have you tried _____? Caregivers often try everything and anything they can to help their loved ones. One of the last things they want is to be questioned or given suggestions by another person.
You look so tired. Caregivers generally have good reason for looking tired. They are busy taking care of and worrying about their loved one, often sacrificing their own care. They know they look tired. They don’t need it pointed out to them.
I know just how you feel. No one can understand what a caregiver is going through unless they themselves have been a caregiver. And even then, everyone processes emotions differently so one person’s experience may be completely different than another.
Don’t worry, it will be okay. Sure, it may be okay. But maybe it won’t. Telling someone that it will be okay without the absolute knowledge of that can make the caregiver feel like their feelings aren’t valid.
Make sure to take care of yourself. Caregivers often know they should take care of themselves too. Finding the time and energy to do so is another story. They are often too busy or exhausted to take care of themselves as well as they should.
You should _______ Once again, caregivers are doing the best they can. They don’t want to be told what they should or shouldn’t be doing because it may cause them to feel like they aren’t doing a good enough job.
I’m sure this is in God’s plan. Whether it is or isn’t in God’s plan still doesn’t make it okay that their loved one has to suffer.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Is it Really Important to Have a Positive Attitude When Dealing With a Chronic Condition?
One of the last things someone with a chronic illness or chronic pain wants to hear is that they should think more positively. After all, it’s hard to have a positive attitude when you are in terrible pain or feel horrible and it may feel like some of the blame for how you feel is being placed on you when told this. However, studies have shown that having a positive attitude can help people with chronic illness/pain both mentally and physically. It makes sense, right? We know that chronic stress, anger and other negative emotions can have a detrimental impact on our health and lead to problems with brain and cardiac function. We know that it can lead to wear and tear of our bodies.
That said, it is unrealistic to expect people dealing with chronic pain or a chronic illness to have a positive attitude all of the time. It’s just not possible. In fact, being cheerful all of the time when dealing with a chronic condition can sometimes be linked to denial of the illness, which can lead to negative psychological consequences.
In my personal and professional experience, I’ve found that most people suffering from chronic pain and chronic illness want acknowledgement that what they are going through is real and that it is okay not to be okay sometimes. Pressure to be optimistic all of the time can lead to increased negative emotions. By allowing sufferers of chronic conditions to experience the uncertainty and frustrations that come along with having a chronic illness or chronic pain, family, friends and loved ones are actually making way for more positive feelings because not only can the patient express their feelings during difficult times rather than holding it in, the pressure to be optimistic all of the time is gone.
It is important for people with chronic conditions to find a good balance in their lives. It is also important for them to focus on what they have control over (diet, exercise, taking their medications, who is in charge of their treatment), rather than what they don’t (disease progression). Feeling in control leads to more positive emotions.
So, is it really important to have a positive attitude when dealing with a chronic condition? Yes. But it is also important to be able to feel and express the anger, frustration and uncertainty as well.
That said, it is unrealistic to expect people dealing with chronic pain or a chronic illness to have a positive attitude all of the time. It’s just not possible. In fact, being cheerful all of the time when dealing with a chronic condition can sometimes be linked to denial of the illness, which can lead to negative psychological consequences.
In my personal and professional experience, I’ve found that most people suffering from chronic pain and chronic illness want acknowledgement that what they are going through is real and that it is okay not to be okay sometimes. Pressure to be optimistic all of the time can lead to increased negative emotions. By allowing sufferers of chronic conditions to experience the uncertainty and frustrations that come along with having a chronic illness or chronic pain, family, friends and loved ones are actually making way for more positive feelings because not only can the patient express their feelings during difficult times rather than holding it in, the pressure to be optimistic all of the time is gone.
It is important for people with chronic conditions to find a good balance in their lives. It is also important for them to focus on what they have control over (diet, exercise, taking their medications, who is in charge of their treatment), rather than what they don’t (disease progression). Feeling in control leads to more positive emotions.
So, is it really important to have a positive attitude when dealing with a chronic condition? Yes. But it is also important to be able to feel and express the anger, frustration and uncertainty as well.
Monday, October 13, 2014
Do You Feel Like a Burden?
I have counseled hundreds of patients with chronic pain and chronic illness. Most of them have said “I feel like a burden to my friends and family”. I too have felt that way at times. It’s a common feeling for those of us with chronic pain or a chronic illness. Chronic conditions affect not only the patient but those close to the patient as well. Even though we didn’t do anything to cause our condition, we feel like it’s our fault and that we are making the lives of those around us more miserable. So what can you do to feel like less of a burden to your friends and family? I hope the following suggestions will help.
Contribute what you can, when you can. You may not be able to do as much as you used to, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t anything you can do. You also may not be able to do things as quickly as you used to. But that’s okay too. Take inventory of the chores and activities you can do and help out in those ways. So you may not be able to wash the heavy pots anymore. But can you wash the small dishes or load some of the dishes in the dishwasher? You may not be able to mop the floors anymore, but can you wipe down some of the counters? You may not be able to fold the laundry, but can you load the washer? Anything that you can still do will be appreciated.
Keep the lines of communication open. We can’t expect the people in our life to read our minds. They may not know if you are in pain or are not feeling well. It’s important to communicate about the way you feel, not only physically but emotionally, so your loved ones and the other people in your life know how they can help you or if you even want the help or if you just to be left alone. Also, in addition to educating yourself about your illness or chronic pain, educate those in your life as well so they know what to expect and there are few surprises.
Make your spouse, significant other, friends, etc. the center of attention at times. Do something nice for the close people in your life once in a while to show them how much you appreciate them. It can be as simple as telling them how much you appreciate them or telling them to go out for the afternoon and enjoy themselves. Talk to them about what they are going through to see if there is anything you can do for them. It’s important for us, the patients, to remember that we aren’t the only ones affected by our illness and that our caregivers need attention too.
Maintain a positive attitude. This is particularly hard on the days you are experiencing a lot of pain or just feel horrible. And I’m not advocating that you hide your emotions or act like someone you are not, especially on days that are particularly hard. But maintaining a positive attitude as much as possible is not only good for your well-being but for the well-being of others around you. It can help you better cope with your pain or illness and it can help you avoid taking out your frustrations on the people around you who are only trying to help and care for you.
Focus on something other than your illness/pain. No one wants to hear about how terrible someone feels all the time and no one wants to talk about how terrible they feel all the time. I know I sound like I’m contradicting myself because I told you above to communicate with the people in your life about your illness/pain and how you feel, but there is a time and place for that and you don’t want it to consume you or them. When you are around your loved ones, try focusing the attention on something other than your illness or pain if you can. If you are asked by someone how you are doing and you don’t want to get into it you can simply say “I’m fine thanks”, and then redirect the conversation to something else. Even if you aren’t feeling well on that particular day, it is important for you to have things in your life to focus on other than your pain or illness. This will help distract you from your pain or illness, at least for the time being, and will bring a sense of normalcy to your life.
Is there anything else you have done which has helped you feel like less of a burden?
Contribute what you can, when you can. You may not be able to do as much as you used to, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t anything you can do. You also may not be able to do things as quickly as you used to. But that’s okay too. Take inventory of the chores and activities you can do and help out in those ways. So you may not be able to wash the heavy pots anymore. But can you wash the small dishes or load some of the dishes in the dishwasher? You may not be able to mop the floors anymore, but can you wipe down some of the counters? You may not be able to fold the laundry, but can you load the washer? Anything that you can still do will be appreciated.
Keep the lines of communication open. We can’t expect the people in our life to read our minds. They may not know if you are in pain or are not feeling well. It’s important to communicate about the way you feel, not only physically but emotionally, so your loved ones and the other people in your life know how they can help you or if you even want the help or if you just to be left alone. Also, in addition to educating yourself about your illness or chronic pain, educate those in your life as well so they know what to expect and there are few surprises.
Make your spouse, significant other, friends, etc. the center of attention at times. Do something nice for the close people in your life once in a while to show them how much you appreciate them. It can be as simple as telling them how much you appreciate them or telling them to go out for the afternoon and enjoy themselves. Talk to them about what they are going through to see if there is anything you can do for them. It’s important for us, the patients, to remember that we aren’t the only ones affected by our illness and that our caregivers need attention too.
Maintain a positive attitude. This is particularly hard on the days you are experiencing a lot of pain or just feel horrible. And I’m not advocating that you hide your emotions or act like someone you are not, especially on days that are particularly hard. But maintaining a positive attitude as much as possible is not only good for your well-being but for the well-being of others around you. It can help you better cope with your pain or illness and it can help you avoid taking out your frustrations on the people around you who are only trying to help and care for you.
Focus on something other than your illness/pain. No one wants to hear about how terrible someone feels all the time and no one wants to talk about how terrible they feel all the time. I know I sound like I’m contradicting myself because I told you above to communicate with the people in your life about your illness/pain and how you feel, but there is a time and place for that and you don’t want it to consume you or them. When you are around your loved ones, try focusing the attention on something other than your illness or pain if you can. If you are asked by someone how you are doing and you don’t want to get into it you can simply say “I’m fine thanks”, and then redirect the conversation to something else. Even if you aren’t feeling well on that particular day, it is important for you to have things in your life to focus on other than your pain or illness. This will help distract you from your pain or illness, at least for the time being, and will bring a sense of normalcy to your life.
Is there anything else you have done which has helped you feel like less of a burden?
Monday, October 6, 2014
Is It Time To Break Up With Your Doctor?
When you have a chronic illness or chronic pain, it is crucial to have a competent doctor who you trust to manage your care. Many of us have been in a doctor-patient relationship that just wasn’t working out. But sometimes knowing when to call it quits can be difficult. It means starting over which can be scary. It may be easier and more comfortable to stay in that unsatisfying doctor-patient relationship for the time being. But is that really what’s best for your health? Here are 10 signs that it may be time to break up with your doctor:
1. He/she doesn’t seem knowledgeable about your illness or pain. Just because they are doctors, that doesn’t mean they know everything about every condition. If your doctor doesn’t seem to have enough knowledge about your illness, find someone who does. Finding a doctor who is an expert in your particular illness can mean faster progress in finding the right medications and therapies that will work for you.
2. He/she doesn’t answer all your questions. You are not supposed to be the expert in your condition, your doctor is. It is their obligation to answer all of your questions so you have all the information you need in order to make the right decision about which options for your treatment work best for you.
3. You can’t get an appointment in a reasonable amount of time. Sure doctors are busy. But that doesn’t mean you should have to wait a month for an appointment, especially if you are not feeling well and need to be seen soon.
4. He/she doesn’t hear what you are saying. You know your body better than anyone and you know the symptoms you are experiencing. You know if you are or are not feeling better on a medication. You know if physical therapy is or isn’t working. It is your doctors’ responsibility to listen and discuss your treatment with you and if something isn’t working, to discuss alternatives.
5. Your condition is not improving. Many conditions require trial and error in treatment. If you are not improving on one medication, it may be time to try another. If your doctor doesn’t agree with this, look for someone who does.
6. He/she spends more time writing notes than looking at you. Having a doctor who shows he or she cares about what you are dealing with is so important. A good doctor sits, makes eye contact, asks questions, and listens to your answers to work out a diagnosis and treatment plan.
7. You don’t trust him/her. When you have chronic pain or a chronic illness it’s crucial to have a competent doctor in charge of your care. If you don’t trust your doctor, your instincts are probably correct and it is time to find someone you do trust.
8. He/she doesn’t explain his/her treatment plan. Treatment is not one-size-fits-all, especially when dealing with chronic pain and chronic illness. These are often complex problems and what works for one person may not work for another. Treatment options may be confusing and require choices from you that entail thinking about what would be best for you at that time in your life. Therefore, you as the patient must be informed about possible treatment options and your doctors plan for the immediate future as well as possible long-term options so you can make an informed decision.
9. You can’t reach him/her outside normal business hours. What happens if you have a question that is emergent but not so serious that you want to go to the emergency room? Most great doctors will have an after-hours doctor on staff or a way to be paged if needed. If this is something you feel you may need and your doctor doesn’t offer this, it may be time to find someone else.
10. Your doctor or the staff does not return phone calls. There’s no excuse for not receiving a call back from your doctor or their staff within a timely manner unless you have told them it can wait. They should call you back because it’s the right thing to do, especially if you are experiencing symptoms or have a question that requires a timely response.
1. He/she doesn’t seem knowledgeable about your illness or pain. Just because they are doctors, that doesn’t mean they know everything about every condition. If your doctor doesn’t seem to have enough knowledge about your illness, find someone who does. Finding a doctor who is an expert in your particular illness can mean faster progress in finding the right medications and therapies that will work for you.
2. He/she doesn’t answer all your questions. You are not supposed to be the expert in your condition, your doctor is. It is their obligation to answer all of your questions so you have all the information you need in order to make the right decision about which options for your treatment work best for you.
3. You can’t get an appointment in a reasonable amount of time. Sure doctors are busy. But that doesn’t mean you should have to wait a month for an appointment, especially if you are not feeling well and need to be seen soon.
4. He/she doesn’t hear what you are saying. You know your body better than anyone and you know the symptoms you are experiencing. You know if you are or are not feeling better on a medication. You know if physical therapy is or isn’t working. It is your doctors’ responsibility to listen and discuss your treatment with you and if something isn’t working, to discuss alternatives.
5. Your condition is not improving. Many conditions require trial and error in treatment. If you are not improving on one medication, it may be time to try another. If your doctor doesn’t agree with this, look for someone who does.
6. He/she spends more time writing notes than looking at you. Having a doctor who shows he or she cares about what you are dealing with is so important. A good doctor sits, makes eye contact, asks questions, and listens to your answers to work out a diagnosis and treatment plan.
7. You don’t trust him/her. When you have chronic pain or a chronic illness it’s crucial to have a competent doctor in charge of your care. If you don’t trust your doctor, your instincts are probably correct and it is time to find someone you do trust.
8. He/she doesn’t explain his/her treatment plan. Treatment is not one-size-fits-all, especially when dealing with chronic pain and chronic illness. These are often complex problems and what works for one person may not work for another. Treatment options may be confusing and require choices from you that entail thinking about what would be best for you at that time in your life. Therefore, you as the patient must be informed about possible treatment options and your doctors plan for the immediate future as well as possible long-term options so you can make an informed decision.
9. You can’t reach him/her outside normal business hours. What happens if you have a question that is emergent but not so serious that you want to go to the emergency room? Most great doctors will have an after-hours doctor on staff or a way to be paged if needed. If this is something you feel you may need and your doctor doesn’t offer this, it may be time to find someone else.
10. Your doctor or the staff does not return phone calls. There’s no excuse for not receiving a call back from your doctor or their staff within a timely manner unless you have told them it can wait. They should call you back because it’s the right thing to do, especially if you are experiencing symptoms or have a question that requires a timely response.
Monday, September 29, 2014
10 Inspirational Quotes For Those With Chronic Pain and Chronic Illness
Living with a chronic illness or chronic pain can be exhausting. It can be frustrating, stressful and infuriating and there may be many times when you just want to say “I give up”. Sometimes we need inspiration. A little something to hold on to that will help us to keep going. I hope these quotes will help some of you during those times.
1. You are more than your circumstances.
2. Don’t let what you can’t do interfere with what you can do.
3. Don’t be ashamed of your story. It will inspire others.
4. Today I will do the best I can and my best is good enough.
5. Courage is not having the strength to go on; it’s going on when you don’t have the strength.
6. I will choose to see the good in life.
7. We are challenged every day! We overcome every day! We are warriors!
8. You have dealt with so much and done the best you can. Take a moment to appreciate how strong you are!
9. No one is ever too broken, too scarred, or too far-gone to create change. Never stop fighting. Never lose faith.
10. Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow’.
1. You are more than your circumstances.
2. Don’t let what you can’t do interfere with what you can do.
3. Don’t be ashamed of your story. It will inspire others.
4. Today I will do the best I can and my best is good enough.
5. Courage is not having the strength to go on; it’s going on when you don’t have the strength.
6. I will choose to see the good in life.
7. We are challenged every day! We overcome every day! We are warriors!
8. You have dealt with so much and done the best you can. Take a moment to appreciate how strong you are!
9. No one is ever too broken, too scarred, or too far-gone to create change. Never stop fighting. Never lose faith.
10. Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow’.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
10 Things No One With a Chronic Illness Wants to Hear
Those of you who have a chronic illness know what I'm talking about. Those well-meaning people just trying to help. But sometimes those well-meaning people don't realize that we don't need or want suggestions or thoughts, we just need their support. Here are 10 things not to say to someone with a chronic illness.
1) It’s all in your head.
2) Maybe you’re just stressed.
3) Have you tried holistic options?
4) Maybe it’s your diet.
5) Have you tried exercising?
6) You don’t look sick.
7) But you’re too young to be sick!
8) Have you tried getting more sleep?
9) Maybe you should try__________.
10) I’m sorry.
What else have you been told that you would like to add to the list?
1) It’s all in your head.
2) Maybe you’re just stressed.
3) Have you tried holistic options?
4) Maybe it’s your diet.
5) Have you tried exercising?
6) You don’t look sick.
7) But you’re too young to be sick!
8) Have you tried getting more sleep?
9) Maybe you should try__________.
10) I’m sorry.
What else have you been told that you would like to add to the list?
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